where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
