i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
