absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
