Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Four minutes until I can fart!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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