i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
