I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
