Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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