I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
