I think im going to throw up on grandma
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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