And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
