Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize