I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
