Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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