i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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