Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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