Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
