He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and she was petting her beer can
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
