he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
