Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
