I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize