i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
