Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
