i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
