Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Buhtt sex?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
