You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
