nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize