actually, I'm a sock model
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A+ Viking dick
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
