Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
