Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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