fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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