We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize