how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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