i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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