my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What a dumb baby whore.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
