The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
