So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
