My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
