More tranny stories later!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
