He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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