Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think I won the penis lottery.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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