Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize