As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
