Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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