Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize