sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
