I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize