The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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