we have officially lost it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
