I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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