I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
