were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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