I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
