at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
