she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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