we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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