I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
