I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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