plz talk dirty to me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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