no you cant smoke seaweed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize