He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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