How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
