On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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