somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she told me i tasted like america
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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