I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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