So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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