so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
