The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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