I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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