Where are you?
In a non slutty way
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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