the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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