if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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