Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
