best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize