i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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