the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize