the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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