I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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