Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
