He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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