i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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