yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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