my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
