He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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