ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize