he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
